Taylor Lautner Lil Pete
Harvey Keitel Smiley
Terry Crews Chico
Danny Trejo Cicero
Steve Buscemi Doc Griffin
Jackie Sandler Never Wears Bra
Luke Wilson Danny
Adam Sandler Tommy, Writer, Producer
Nick Nolte Frank Stockburn
John Turturro Abner Doubleday
Rob Schneider Ramon
David Spade General George Custer
Chris Parnell Bank Manager