Taylor Lautner Lil Pete
Steve Buscemi Doc Griffin
Harvey Keitel Smiley
Terry Crews Chico
Danny Trejo Cicero
Adam Sandler Writer, Tommy, Producer
Jackie Sandler Never Wears Bra
Luke Wilson Danny
Nick Nolte Frank Stockburn
Rob Schneider Ramon
John Turturro Abner Doubleday
David Spade General George Custer
Chris Parnell Bank Manager