Amanda Seyfried Songs, Samantha
Morgan Freeman Patrick Meighan
Mark Wahlberg John
Liam Neeson Customer
Giovanni Ribisi Donny
Patrick Stewart Narrator (voice)
Tara Strong Ted Toy (voice)
Seth MacFarlane Writer, Characters, Director, Ted (voice), Producer
Patrick Warburton Guy
Rachael MacFarlane Meighan Assistant
Dennis Haysbert Fertility Doctor
Kate McKinnon Kate McKinnon
John Carroll Lynch Tom Jessup
Jay Leno Jay Leno
John Slattery Shep Wild
Michael Dorn Rick
Taran Killam Taran Killam
Nana Visitor Adoption Agent
Jessica Barth Tami-Lynn
Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel
Heidi Moneymaker Stunts
Jessica Szohr Allison
Ron Canada Judge
Bill Smitrovich Frank
Bobby Moynihan Bobby Moynihan
Sam J. Jones Sam J. Jones
Alec Sulkin Obi-Wan, Executive Producer, Writer
John Viener Police Dispatcher
Ralph Garman Stormtrooper
Ronobir Lahiri Pundit
Anissa Borrego Flash Girl (uncredited)
Lexi Atkins Waitress
Lenny Clarke Cop (Boston PD)
Tom Brady Tom Brady
Julius Sharpe NYC Doctor
Chris Regan Pundit
William Xifaras Boston Neighbor
Mark Kamine Co-Producer
Jessie Graff Stunts
Michael Barrett Director of Photography
Brian Smyj Stunt Coordinator
Steve Kelso Stunt Double
Debbie Evans Stunt Double
Dustin Ybarra Borg
London Hall Reporter (uncredited)
Jay Patterson Karl Jackson
Mickey Giacomazzi Stunt Driver
Craig Ricci Shaynak Blind Guy
Lauren Sánchez Bezos Boston Newscaster
Joe Bucaro III Stunts
Maggie Geha Female Nurse
Barry Ratcliffe Pundit
Tina Grimm Comic Con Booth Girl (uncredited)
Sebastian Arcelus Dr. Ed Danzer
Wellesley Wild Pundit, Executive Producer, Writer
Jack Knight Todd Kidder
Tiffany Tiffany
Michael Parks Animation
Steve Callaghan Comic
Cocoa Brown Joy
Caty Maxey Art Direction
Nefetari Spencer Pundit
Jørgen Klubien Storyboard Artist
Scott Stuber Producer
Bart Mixon Makeup Artist
Julie Schmid Piano / Ginger Girl (uncredited)
Anna Maiche Kissing Couple (uncredited)
Jason Chu Stunts
Billy Concha Bachelor Party Guest
Scott Rogers Stunt Coordinator
Allison Caetano Stunts
Daniel W. Barringer Stunts