Mark Wahlberg John
Morgan Freeman Patrick Meighan
Amanda Seyfried Samantha
Liam Neeson Customer
Patrick Warburton Guy
Nana Visitor Adoption Agent
Taran Killam Taran Killam
Patrick Stewart Narrator (voice)
Seth MacFarlane Ted (voice), Director, Producer, Writer, Characters
Giovanni Ribisi Donny
Lauren Sánchez Boston Newscaster
John Slattery Shep Wild
Ralph Garman Stormtrooper
Alec Sulkin Obi-Wan, Writer, Executive Producer
Jay Leno Jay Leno
Tara Strong Ted Toy (voice)
Tom Brady Tom Brady
Jessica Barth Tami-Lynn
Kate McKinnon Kate McKinnon
Lenny Clarke Cop (Boston PD)
Jason Clark Producer
Cocoa Brown Joy
Wellesley Wild Pundit, Writer, Executive Producer
Dennis Haysbert Fertility Doctor
John Carroll Lynch Tom Jessup
Lexi Atkins Waitress
Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel
John Viener Police Dispatcher
Stephen J. Lineweaver Production Design
Bobby Moynihan Bobby Moynihan
Steve Callaghan Comic
Walter Murphy Original Music Composer
Nefetari Spencer Pundit
Jessie Graff Stunts
Daniel W. Barringer Stunts
Rachael MacFarlane Meighan Assistant
David Goldman Pundit
Bill Smitrovich Frank
Michael Dorn Rick
Sam J. Jones Sam J. Jones
Jeremy Fry Stunt Driver
Sebastian Arcelus Dr. Ed Danzer
Anissa Borrego Flash Girl (uncredited)
Brian Smyj Stunt Coordinator
Ron Canada Judge
Maggie Geha Female Nurse
Lance Norris Wedding Guest (uncredited)
Jessica Szohr Allison
Barry Ratcliffe Pundit
Heidi Moneymaker Stunts
Jack Knight Todd Kidder
John Franchi Bar Patron (uncredited)
Nea Dune Comic Con Attendee (uncredited)
Christopher Walsh Special Effects
Dustin Ybarra Borg
Julius Sharpe NYC Doctor
Joe Bucaro III Stunts
Michael Trisler Cyclist
Scott Stuber Producer
Mickey Giacomazzi Stunt Driver
Jay Patterson Karl Jackson
Chris Regan Pundit
Scott Rogers Stunt Coordinator
Michael Barrett Director of Photography
Jeff Freeman Editor
Chuck Duke Animation
Steve Kelso Stunt Double
Sheila Jaffe Casting
Anna Maiche Kissing Couple (uncredited)
William Xifaras Boston Neighbor
Jason Chu Stunts
Debbie Evans Stunt Double