Mark Wahlberg John
Morgan Freeman Patrick Meighan
Liam Neeson Customer
Amanda Seyfried Songs, Samantha
Tara Strong Ted Toy (voice)
Seth MacFarlane Characters, Ted (voice), Director, Producer, Writer
Giovanni Ribisi Donny
Patrick Stewart Narrator (voice)
Dennis Haysbert Fertility Doctor
Patrick Warburton Guy
John Carroll Lynch Tom Jessup
Kyra Friedman Curcio Set Decoration
J. Mark Donaldson Juror
Sam J. Jones Sam J. Jones
Taran Killam Taran Killam
Debbie Evans Stunt Double
Michael Barrett Director of Photography
Kate McKinnon Kate McKinnon
Nana Visitor Adoption Agent
John Slattery Shep Wild
Daniel W. Barringer Stunts
Howard R. Campbell Lighting Technician
Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel
Stephen J. Lineweaver Production Design
Jay Leno Jay Leno
Scott Stuber Producer
Jessica Szohr Allison
Vincent M. Biscione Ted's Court Gallery (uncredited)
Ron Canada Judge
Michael Dorn Rick
Lauren Sánchez Bezos Boston Newscaster
Bobby Moynihan Bobby Moynihan
J.D. Schwalm Special Effects Coordinator
Joe Bucaro III Stunts
Jessica Barth Tami-Lynn
Heidi Moneymaker Stunts
Bill Smitrovich Frank
Rachael MacFarlane Meighan Assistant
Sebastian Arcelus Dr. Ed Danzer
Steve Kelso Stunt Double
Matthew J. Walters Hellboy
Lexi Atkins Waitress
Ralph Garman Stormtrooper
Craig Ricci Shaynak Blind Guy
Mickey Giacomazzi Stunt Driver
Scott Rogers Stunt Coordinator
Cocoa Brown Joy
Wellesley Wild Pundit, Executive Producer, Writer
Brian Smyj Stunt Coordinator
John Viener Police Dispatcher
Jack Knight Todd Kidder
Christopher Ferguson Electrician
Ronobir Lahiri Pundit
Alec Sulkin Obi-Wan, Executive Producer, Writer
Jay Patterson Karl Jackson
Lenny Clarke Cop (Boston PD)
Jessie Graff Stunts
Dustin Ybarra Borg
Becki Dennis Receptionist
Jeremy Fry Stunt Driver
Sheila Jaffe Casting
Justin M. Lubin Still Photographer
Michael Trisler Cyclist
Marc Fishman Sound
Tom Brady Tom Brady
Nefetari Spencer Pundit
Chris Crowell Compositor
Bart Mixon Makeup Artist
Douglas Noe Makeup Artist
Allison Caetano Stunts
Tiffany Tiffany
Daniel Macarin CG Supervisor