Morgan Freeman Patrick Meighan
Liam Neeson Customer
Mark Wahlberg John
Amanda Seyfried Songs, Samantha
Tara Strong Ted Toy (voice)
Giovanni Ribisi Donny
Patrick Warburton Guy
Patrick Stewart Narrator (voice)
Seth MacFarlane Characters, Director, Ted (voice), Producer, Writer
John Slattery Shep Wild
Kate McKinnon Kate McKinnon
Dennis Haysbert Fertility Doctor
John Carroll Lynch Tom Jessup
Jay Leno Jay Leno
Bobby Moynihan Bobby Moynihan
Michael Dorn Rick
Nana Visitor Adoption Agent
Bill Smitrovich Frank
Sam J. Jones Sam J. Jones
Jessica Szohr Allison
Rachael MacFarlane Meighan Assistant
Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel
Taran Killam Taran Killam
Ron Canada Judge
Tom Brady Tom Brady
Lenny Clarke Cop (Boston PD)
Heidi Moneymaker Stunts
Jessica Barth Tami-Lynn
John Viener Police Dispatcher
Christy Scott Cashman Reporter
Lexi Atkins Waitress
Alec Sulkin Obi-Wan, Executive Producer, Writer
Tina Grimm Comic Con Booth Girl (uncredited)
Joe Bucaro III Stunts
Sheila Jaffe Casting
Jessie Graff Stunts
Tiffany Tiffany
Mickey Giacomazzi Stunt Driver
Jay Patterson Karl Jackson
Maggie Geha Female Nurse
Lauren Sánchez Bezos Boston Newscaster
Allison Caetano Stunts
Ralph Garman Stormtrooper
Ronobir Lahiri Pundit
Anna Maiche Kissing Couple (uncredited)
Steve Kelso Stunt Double
Dustin Ybarra Borg
Sebastian Arcelus Dr. Ed Danzer
Caty Maxey Art Direction
Anissa Borrego Flash Girl (uncredited)
Barry Ratcliffe Pundit
Jack Knight Todd Kidder
Debbie Evans Stunt Double
Scott Stuber Producer
William Xifaras Boston Neighbor
Cocoa Brown Joy
Michael Parks Animation
Brian Smyj Stunt Coordinator
Scott Rogers Stunt Coordinator
Tami Lane Makeup Artist
Douglas Noe Makeup Artist
John Franchi Bar Patron (uncredited)
J.D. Schwalm Special Effects Coordinator
Steve Callaghan Comic
Michael Barrett Director of Photography
Cindy Evans Costume Design
Michael Trisler Cyclist
Juliet Loveland Makeup Artist
Jeremy Fry Stunt Driver
Todd Harris Storyboard Artist
Claudia Zielke Baroness Girl (uncredited)
Mark Kamine Co-Producer