Morgan Freeman Patrick Meighan
Liam Neeson Customer
Mark Wahlberg John
Amanda Seyfried Songs, Samantha
Tara Strong Ted Toy (voice)
Giovanni Ribisi Donny
Patrick Stewart Narrator (voice)
Patrick Warburton Guy
Seth MacFarlane Characters, Director, Ted (voice), Producer, Writer
John Slattery Shep Wild
Kate McKinnon Kate McKinnon
John Carroll Lynch Tom Jessup
Dennis Haysbert Fertility Doctor
Jay Leno Jay Leno
Bobby Moynihan Bobby Moynihan
Michael Dorn Rick
Nana Visitor Adoption Agent
Bill Smitrovich Frank
Sam J. Jones Sam J. Jones
Jessica Szohr Allison
Rachael MacFarlane Meighan Assistant
Taran Killam Taran Killam
Ron Canada Judge
Tom Brady Tom Brady
Lenny Clarke Cop (Boston PD)
Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel
Heidi Moneymaker Stunts
Jessica Barth Tami-Lynn
John Viener Police Dispatcher
Lexi Atkins Waitress
Christy Scott Cashman Reporter
Alec Sulkin Obi-Wan, Executive Producer, Writer
Tina Grimm Comic Con Booth Girl (uncredited)
Joe Bucaro III Stunts
Sheila Jaffe Casting
Jessie Graff Stunts
Tiffany Tiffany
Mickey Giacomazzi Stunt Driver
Jay Patterson Karl Jackson
Maggie Geha Female Nurse
Allison Caetano Stunts
Ralph Garman Stormtrooper
Ronobir Lahiri Pundit
Anna Maiche Kissing Couple (uncredited)
Dustin Ybarra Borg
Steve Kelso Stunt Double
Sebastian Arcelus Dr. Ed Danzer
Caty Maxey Art Direction
Lauren Sánchez Bezos Boston Newscaster
Anissa Borrego Flash Girl (uncredited)
Barry Ratcliffe Pundit
Jack Knight Todd Kidder
Debbie Evans Stunt Double
William Xifaras Boston Neighbor
Cocoa Brown Joy
Michael Parks Animation
Brian Smyj Stunt Coordinator
Scott Rogers Stunt Coordinator
Tami Lane Makeup Artist
Douglas Noe Makeup Artist
Steve Callaghan Comic
Michael Barrett Director of Photography
Michael Trisler Cyclist
Jeremy Fry Stunt Driver
Todd Harris Storyboard Artist
Claudia Zielke Baroness Girl (uncredited)
Mark Kamine Co-Producer
Scott Stuber Producer
Justin M. Lubin Still Photographer
Alexandra Creteau Wedding Guest (uncredited)
Nefetari Spencer Pundit
John Franchi Bar Patron (uncredited)