Morgan Freeman Patrick Meighan
Mark Wahlberg John
Liam Neeson Customer
Amanda Seyfried Songs, Samantha
Tara Strong Ted Toy (voice)
Seth MacFarlane Characters, Ted (voice), Director, Producer, Writer
Giovanni Ribisi Donny
Patrick Stewart Narrator (voice)
Patrick Warburton Guy
Dennis Haysbert Fertility Doctor
John Carroll Lynch Tom Jessup
Kyra Friedman Curcio Set Decoration
Sam J. Jones Sam J. Jones
Taran Killam Taran Killam
Michael Barrett Director of Photography
Nana Visitor Adoption Agent
John Slattery Shep Wild
Howard R. Campbell Lighting Technician
Kate McKinnon Kate McKinnon
J. Mark Donaldson Juror
Stephen J. Lineweaver Production Design
Jay Leno Jay Leno
Lauren Sánchez Bezos Boston Newscaster
Debbie Evans Stunt Double
Jessica Szohr Allison
Vincent M. Biscione Ted's Court Gallery (uncredited)
Joe Bucaro III Stunts
Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel
J.D. Schwalm Special Effects Coordinator
Bobby Moynihan Bobby Moynihan
Ron Canada Judge
Michael Dorn Rick
Daniel W. Barringer Stunts
Heidi Moneymaker Stunts
Jessica Barth Tami-Lynn
Bill Smitrovich Frank
Scott Stuber Producer
Rachael MacFarlane Meighan Assistant
Sebastian Arcelus Dr. Ed Danzer
Matthew J. Walters Hellboy
Lexi Atkins Waitress
Craig Ricci Shaynak Blind Guy
Steve Kelso Stunt Double
Ronobir Lahiri Pundit
Cocoa Brown Joy
Wellesley Wild Pundit, Executive Producer, Writer
Brian Smyj Stunt Coordinator
John Viener Police Dispatcher
Jack Knight Todd Kidder
Scott Rogers Stunt Coordinator
Christopher Ferguson Electrician
Jessie Graff Stunts
Ralph Garman Stormtrooper
Nefetari Spencer Pundit
Alec Sulkin Obi-Wan, Executive Producer, Writer
Jay Patterson Karl Jackson
Lenny Clarke Cop (Boston PD)
Dustin Ybarra Borg
Anissa Borrego Flash Girl (uncredited)
Michael Trisler Cyclist
Mickey Giacomazzi Stunt Driver
Becki Dennis Receptionist
Sheila Jaffe Casting
Douglas Noe Makeup Artist
Tom Brady Tom Brady
Jeremy Fry Stunt Driver
Peter Borck Supervising Art Director
Todd Harris Storyboard Artist
Chris Crowell Compositor
Tiffany Tiffany
Nico Woulard Stunts
Jeff Freeman Editor